


Perfect

by dear_reader



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BUT FLUFFY IN THE END, Bad Parent Maryse Lightwood, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, M/M, but not suPER graphic, its angsty, there is some mention of blood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 15:39:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11360463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dear_reader/pseuds/dear_reader
Summary: No matter how hard he tries, Alec can't seem to rid of the voices in his head.





	Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> And we're back! This was just something I threw together late tonight as I was feeling some serious need for Malec (more so than usual!) I want to put out a disclaimer and say that I actually really like Maryse Lightwood now and love how much she's progressed as a character, but her old ways were perfect for this fic, so she's temporarily in the dog house. Anyway, enjoy!!

“How’s the meeting?” 

Magnus flicked through the book that was open in his lap as he waited for Alec’s response. 

“I want to stab everyone.”

Magnus just laughed and got up from his seat on the couch, moving to put the book back on his shelf. 

“Don’t get blood on your clothes. We have dinner reservations at seven.”

Alec just sighed and rubbed a hand across his eyes.

“I just can’t wait to get out of here and away from my parents. I have to go, but I’ll see you when I get home. Love you.”

“Love you too. See you when you get home.”

With that, Magnus ended the call but curiosity overtook him. Something with Alec didn’t seem right. He sounded off, which was understandable seeing as he was trapped in a room under the judgemental eyes of his parents. But he thought that they had talked about it and Alec had overcome the voices telling him he wasn’t worth it. But maybe he was wrong. He went to take a bath whilst pondering his thoughts, awaiting Alec’s return.

*****

As soon as he had made his way out of the Institute doors, Alec took a deep breath and ran through the last two hours in his mind. He really thought that his parents had gotten over their issues with his sexuality and his duty to the Lightwood name. 

It seems he was wrong. They couldn’t keep from making comments directed towards him as he was making his announcements during the meeting. 

“Maybe if you spent more time at the Institute instead of that Warlock’s house, then you’d be more informed to make these decisions.”

“You only side with the Downworlders because you claim to be infatuated by one.”

Alec had had enough. The meeting had been cut short when he had stood up from his seat and told his parents that he’d had enough of their ‘opinions’ and that if they continue to talk like that then they’d find themselves not welcome at the Institute. 

Being the Head of the Institute had its perks, he was now thinking. 

All he wanted was to see Magnus and try to push this afternoon out of his mind. With that thought, he pulled up the collar of his jacket against the impending storm and made his way towards the Loft. 

*****

Magnus was in the kitchen making a drink when he heard the door open. 

“In the kitchen, Alexander!” 

Magnus turned towards the entrance to see Alec with a sullen look on his face, even though he was trying to force a smile.

Before Alec had even responded, he made his way straight into Magnus’s arms and held him tightly, releasing a breath he hadn’t realised was being held inside of him.

After returning the sentiment without thought, Magnus pulled slightly away to look at Alec’s face. Noting the seriousness of the situation, he was quick to address the younger man. 

“…Alec?”

There was no response. 

“Darling? What’s wrong? What’s happened?”

Alec sighed and refused to pin his burdens on his boyfriend. So he feigned a smile and took a deep breath. 

“Nothing, Mags. I’m fine. Just missed you, is all.”

Magnus wasn’t buying the smile but decided not to push it at the moment.

“And I you, my love. Are you sure everything is alright?”

One last push couldn't hurt.

“Yes, Magnus. Everything’s fine. I’m going to go and take a shower and change and then we can head to dinner?”

Magnus was a little shell shocked but simply nodded, adding a small and what-he-hoped-was-comforting smile.

“Of course, darling.”

Watching Alec walk away, Magnus decided that he’d get to the bottom of what was wrong at some point tonight, but he didn't want to ruin their reservation, so he resolved to get changed and put the matter to rest for the moment. 

*****

“Dinner was amazing. Thank you, Mags.”

Alec placed a soft kiss on Magnus’s lips and closed the Loft door behind them. 

“No thanks needed, darling. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. It was a nice way to end the day.”

Magnus wasn't specifically asking, but he was hoping that Alec took the hint and opened up about what was upsetting him. 

“Go and take a seat and I’ll get us some wine.”

Magnus simply smiled and decided that he’d approach the topic over a drink. A calm and safe atmosphere may help Alexander to open up. 

As soon as Alec had made it into the kitchen, he let out a sigh and ran his hands through his hair. He hated feeling like this. He hated hiding his feelings from Magnus, but he didn’t want to repeat what they both already knew. That his parents didn't love him. 

The thought made Alec shiver. He had only ever tried to please his family and the knowledge that his parents were disappointed in him made him feel sick. He pushed the thought from his mind as he didn’t want to keep Magnus waiting and make him suspicious. 

The next few minutes seemed like a blur as he made his way to the wine rack and selected a dark red wine that Magnus had bought for him from Paris. He grabbed a knife in order to cut the wrapping at the top of the bottle before popping the cork. 

However, his mind got the better of him in this silent moment and he cut through the skin on the hand that was holding the bottle. 

He dropped the knife and watched it fall into the sink, spreading the drops of his dark blood across the shiny surface. 

And unfortunately for Alec, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. 

All of a sudden his emotions flooded to the front of his mind and he found himself staring numbly at the slice in his hand, watching his silent tears mix with the liquid pouring from the open wound and spreading the solution in a trail down the back of his hand. 

The silent tears eventually became silent sobs, racking his shoulders as he stood hunched over the kitchen surface. It was a wonder he heard Magnus when he came in. 

“-that maybe you’d been swallowed up by the sink!” 

He froze at the hunched sight of Alec’s back. 

“Alexander..?”

Alec quickly sniffed and wiped the back of his bloody hand across his nose, turning in shock at the sound of Magnus’s voice. 

“Mags, sorry I took so long I just-”

Shocked by the smeared blood on his face, Magnus moved towards him. 

“Alec, you’re bleeding. What happened?”

Alec slowly looked down at his hand and wiped his face with the nearest cloth, realising what he’d done. 

He then looked up and made eye contact with Magnus. And the love he found there meant there was no going back. He let out all of his sadness and anger and cried to himself. 

“Oh Alexander, come here. Darling, I’m so sorry.”

Magnus rushed forward and embraced Alec, but not before using his magic to heal the cut on Alec’s hand, allowing the blood to slowly stop flowing.

For the next few minutes, Alec sobbed quietly into Magnus’s shoulder before pulling back to tell him about the meeting with his parents and everything he was feeling. 

“I’m sorry, Alec. I should have realised. I hate that you have to go through that. If it were up to me then you’d never have to see them again. However, I know they're your parents and however much it pains me, there’ll always be a part of you that loves them. And I understand that. But please don’t feel that you have to go through it alone. I’m here for you, Alexander. For whatever you need. I love you. Please…please don’t forget that.”

Alec dried his eyes and softly kissed Magnus, craving the warmth of his boyfriend's lips to confirm the sentiment. 

“I’m sorry that I kept it from you. I just hate to think that I’m burdening you with my problems. It’s not fair.”

“Alexander. When have I ever said that I don’t want to share the weight of your burdens? That’s what love is. Whatever you feel, I feel. Whatever problems you hold, I hold. I love you, Alec. And for me, that means sharing in whatever it is you are struggling with.”

Alec smiled through watery eyes and took Magnus’s hand in his. 

“You have no idea how much that means to me. I love you, Magnus. So, so much. And it scares me.”

“I feel the same way about you, darling. But we can go through it together. If you want to, that is.”

Alec simply nodded and looked down at the floor, suddenly exhausted by all of the emotions he had experienced today. Magnus wanted to relieve him of this weight and show him how loved and safe he was with him. 

“Tell me. What can I do?”

Alec thought, and looked up into Magnus’s eyes. 

“You’re already doing everything. Perfectly.”


End file.
